On my eighth birthday, in the season of spring, my name became “Keith
Claes.” This was the second time I had my name changed in my short life.
The first time it happened was when I was three years of age. Until then, I was
told to keep quiet and sit in a tiny room. If I were ever just a little loud, I would
be punished physically, or have my meals taken away. And that was how I spent
my days quietly in that tiny room.
One day, however, a man I had never seen before took me away on a grand
horse carriage before bringing me to a beautiful mansion. On that day, I met my
father, along with my adoptive mother and brothers. Although I was still very
young, I could tell from their cold stares that I was not welcome in the least.
From the rumors I had heard from the servants later on, it became clear to
me that I was an unwanted child — my mother, who was a prostitute, pushed
me into the hands of my biological father.
I could not ever refer to my parents as “Father” or “Mother” — I did not have
that privilege. Similarly, I had to speak in a formal tone of voice to my brothers.
In the beginning, I did not know how to speak formally, and as such was
punished many, many times. I did not have a seat at the familial dining table
either — I ate alone in my room.
My so-called parents largely ignored me and pretended I did not exist — that
much was acceptable to me. My brothers, however, saw me as something that
should be bullied, and persistently stuck to this belief. They would punch me,
kick me, and occasionally even lock me up in the storage shed for an entire day.
As such, I tried as best as I could to avoid my adoptive brothers, and this was
achieved by staying in my room for most of the day.
After a while, however... that happened.
I remember the day well — the weather was fair. From the window of my
room, I could see some small birds building a nest on a nearby tree.
Becoming somewhat engrossed in watching the bird on account of its nestbuilding
fervor, I forgot my own place and slowly wandered out of the house to
get a better view. Soon, I found myself beside the tree outside.
Unfortunately for me, my brothers chose that moment to exit the house as
well. My adoptive brothers soon surrounded me, verbally and physically
abusing me. “You son of a whore!” they taunted as they kicked and punched
me. I curled myself up as usual, enduring the pain as I waited for it to pass.
That was when it happened: one of my abusers noticed the small birds
nesting on the tree.
“Hey. There’s a bird there, see.”
“Oh wow, yeah I see. Who gave it permission to build a nest on our land?
Cheeky little bugger. We’re knocking it down!”
My adoptive brothers started hurling rocks at the bird. Soon, the nest that the
birds had worked so hard to build was destroyed in a shower of pebbles. The
birds themselves also fell victim to the projectiles, emitting a pained series of
chirps.
“...Stop this!!” I shouted without thinking. As the words left my mouth,
something hot and searing seemed to pour forth from the depths of my heart
and body.
Without warning, some large objects fell from the sky — before I knew it, my
adoptive brothers were on the ground, their arms and legs pinned.
Scattered across the ground were some oddly-shaped pieces of packed dirt,
approximately the size of an adult fist. I supposed these bits of compacted earth
were the objects that had fallen from the sky earlier on.
The bits of earth were quite hard — they had left small craters where they
had landed. It would appear that my adoptive brothers had been hit by some of
these hard pieces of earth, and were injured.
What was all this? I could only stand there, shocked.
After a while, my brothers were carried to their rooms by some servants who
had come out to check on them. A doctor was called. From his diagnosis, it was
discovered that my brothers suffered from multiple impact wounds across their
bodies, along with some terribly broken bones.
The one who had injured them was none other than me. To be more precise,
it was my earth magic that had awakened, and I had used said magic.
From that day on, I became even more isolated and ostracized in this mockery
of a home that I lived in. Unless it was absolutely necessary, I was prohibited
from leaving my room, and my adopted brothers gave me a wide berth. They
were, in fact, absolutely terrified at the sight of me, running away with screams
of “monster!” and the like.
This not only applied to my brothers — even my adoptive parents and their
servants avoided me. While they did not run away like my adoptive brothers
did, their fear was reflected in their eyes.
I was tormented by their gazes — and so I kept myself cooped up in my room,
being as quiet as possible. Days, months, and eventually years passed. Then,
another man I did not know came to my room.
“In recognition of your high magical aptitude, it has been decided that you
will become the adopted child of Duke Claes’ household.”
And just like that, I was packed into yet another horse carriage, to be brought
to yet another place. Although I had lived at my previous abode for five years,
not a single person came out to say goodbye.
As soon as I arrived at my destination, it became evident to me that this
manor was in a class of its own — it was bigger and grander than my previous
abode ever could be. From the intricate vases to the carpets and rugs lining the
hallways, the very manor itself exuded an air of refinement.
My new father was none other than the master of the manor, Duke Claes.
“Hello, are you Keith? Welcome! Welcome to the Claes family,” he said,
addressing me with a smile. I had never been welcomed in such a way in my life
— caught unawares, I stood, perplexed and at a loss for words.
Almost immediately, the duke set about introducing me to the rest of his
family. Madam Claes seemed somewhat aloof as she regarded me with a cold
gaze. And then there was her daughter, the Duke’s only child — Katarina Claes.
My adoptive brothers in the past bullied me on an almost daily basis —
honestly, the very concept of having siblings terrified me. If possible, I wanted
to give my new adoptive sister a wide berth, or at the very least just stay out of
her way.
After a short exchange of introductions and pleasantries with Katarina, I was
brought to my new room, and told to have some rest. Due to my sudden
journey from my previous abode, I was terribly tired, and soon fell asleep on
this large, foreign bed.
The very next morning, I sat at the breakfast table with the Claes family. This
was the very first time I had partaken in a meal with other people at the same
table. The food was impossibly delicious — more delicious than anything I had
ever eaten in my life.
My heart was filled with a strange sense of warmth. After my meal, I made to
return to my room when...
Unexpectedly, Katarina approached me, offering to show me around the
grounds. If possible, I would have wanted to steer clear of her... I did not expect
her to approach me instead.
“I will show you around the garden, Keith,” she said.
Instinctively, I responded formally. “Thank you very much, Lady Katarina.”
“Keith, we are brother and sister, you know. You should call me Big Sister!
Also, you can drop the formalities with me,” she said.
I was overcome with surprise. Up until now, I was not allowed to refer to any
of my family members in such a manner — not even my siblings. Then, as if to
reinforce her point...
“Ugh, we’re siblings, Keith! It’s fine! Also, I’ve always wanted a younger sibling
to call me Big Sister. It is one of my many dreams!”
It would seem that Lady Katarina wished for me to address her as “Big Sister,”
and so I obliged. Katarina, seemingly greatly satisfied by this, responded with a
happy smile.
With that, the two of us stepped out into the manor’s gardens. Katarina,
deciding to take advantage of the pleasant weather, led me around every
corner of the gardens.
After speaking with her for a while, however, I came to realize that Katarina
Claes was a little... different than most noble little ladies.
“I’m pretty good at fishing, you know? We should try it together next time!”
she said, extending me an invitation. Before long, she was off on another tirade,
explaining passionately how she had tilled the earth and planted crops in some
fields.
Although I had been cooped up in rooms all my life and had never fished or
tilled the earth before, I did not recall seeing my previous adoptive brothers do
anything of the sort. In fact, it occurred to me that most other noble children
did not engage in such pursuits. All I could do was maintain a somewhat
surprised expression as these thoughts raced through my head.
“I’ll show you my favorite place next!” Katarina grabbed my hand, running off
in one direction or another. Before long, we were standing before the tallest
tree in the garden.
“The scenery you see from up there is the best!” Katarina said, her eyes
sparkling with excitement. She then went on to tell me about how she was
particularly skilled at tree-climbing.
I, in turn, told her that I had never done anything like it.
“Well then! I will teach you all I know. First, observe my movements...”
Katarina kicked off her shoes and hiked up her dress. Before I could respond,
she was off, climbing the tree earnestly.
I could only stand, still shocked at what I was seeing. Katarina was making
good progress, though the mental strain of being almost able to see up her
dress as she climbed took a bit of a toll on me.
Katarina, however, paid this no heed, continuing to quickly scale the tree’s
trunk — and then, right as she was in the middle of her journey, she turned to
me, waving with a big smile on her face.
And then... it happened. Katarina lost her balance and swayed dangerously.
“Watch out!” I shouted as I ran up to the tree.
With a sudden thud, Katarina landed — right on top of me. The impact of her
fall passed through my being, and for a while, my consciousness seemed to
fade.
After a while, however, I came back to reality, only to find myself in Katarina’s
arms.
“KEEEEEEITH! DON’T DIE!!” Katarina wailed, over and over again, until she
finally noticed that I was all right.
“Keith?! Y... YOU’RE ALIVE!!” she shouted, hugging me with incredible
strength.
I froze up on the spot. It was the first time I had been embraced by anyone.
“Wha— Does it hurt somewhere, Keith??” Katarina asked, concerned at my
behavior.
It was the first time anyone had been worried about my well-being. Again, I
was perplexed... Bewildered. Honestly speaking, I was not seriously injured, and
did not suffer from any excruciating pains. I was, however, unsure of what to do
in such a situation.
Katarina, however, seemed to have mistaken my confusion for some sort of
severe injury. “Wait here, Keith. I’ll get some help and bring you back to the
manor right away.”
And with that, Katarina ran, not bothering to put on her shoes as she hiked up
her dress. She raced towards the manor at an incredible speed. Looking at her
rapidly shrinking silhouette, I was somehow filled with a strange warmth, just
like I had been at breakfast.
That very same night, Madam Claes called us all into her room and asked the
duke for a divorce. After some conversation, it became evident that she had
misunderstood several things, and the two were soon lovingly together again.
After that incident, Madam Claes’ disposition seemed to change — indeed,
she was gentle and kind towards me. Of course, Duke Claes himself was kind
and loving too.
My adoptive sister, Katarina Claes, taught me many things. I was taught, for
the first time in my life, how to fish.
“Keep this a secret from mother, all right?” she said as she taught me how to
climb trees.
When I was praised by our tutor for my skill at the sword, Katarina was happy
for me — as if she herself were the one being praised.
Every day was vibrant and enjoyable. I felt truly blessed... and so I forgot. I
forgot that I was a monster who had hurt others with my magic — dangerous
magic that could not be controlled.
That day, Katarina and I visited the fields after our swordplay training session.
The various plants that Katarina had cultivated were finally starting to grow. As
we spoke about the various aspects of fieldwork, the conversation shifted to
the topic of magic.
“Yes! I’d like to try controlling an Earth Golem!”
An Earth Golem... The infusion of magic into a figure made of earth, and to
subsequently control it — such was the nature of this specific ability. It was also
the kind of magic I used.
I had, in fact, discovered it coincidentally. I was playing with some dirt,
shaping it into dolls while cooped up in my room. In my previous abode, I hardly
interacted with anyone. To compensate for this, I made these dolls and sat next
to them as I had my meals.
I had, however, promised Duke Claes to not use my magic. Although I had
strong magical aptitude, I did not yet have the skill to control it. Due to my
history of having injured my previous adoptive brothers, the Duke said that he
would find a suitable magic tutor who would in time teach me to control my
own abilities.
Katarina, however, stared at me with such expectant eyes that I gave in — I
decided to show her just a little bit of my magic. She, for her part, was greatly
pleased with my little walking golem, and immediately asked if I could make it
bigger...
And so I did, only to find that I could not control a golem of that size.
Swept up in her excitement, Katarina approached the golem despite my
warnings, and was soon sent flying by the golem’s fist. Katarina’s small body
soared through the sky.
This time, I could not catch her — she fell head-first onto the cold, hard
ground.
After she was transported to her chambers by some servants, a doctor was
called to give Katarina an in-depth check-up. I heard that she had just hit her
head and passed out, but otherwise she was fine.
I looked at Duke Claes, who was watching over his unconscious daughter with
a concerned expression on his face.
“I broke my promise to not use magic, and I also hurt my big sister with it. It’s
all my fault, so I will accept any punishment. I am really, really sorry. Please feel
free to chase me out of the household if you see fit...”
Duke Claes looked at me, visibly troubled. “About this incident... we should
really wait to hear from Katarina after she has woken up. We will discuss it
then. More importantly, Keith... You look really ill, as if you would fall over at
any moment. Katarina will be fine for now. You should rest in your room.”
With that, the duke led me out of Katarina’s room. That night, I heaved a sigh
of relief as I heard that Katarina was none the worse for wear. Although I
wanted to go and meet her right away... I could not. I... I was afraid.
The very next morning, I could not leave my room. For the very first time
since I had lived in this manor, I missed breakfast.
About when the family’s breakfast service had ended...
“Keith! It’s me, Katarina! You weren’t at breakfast... Are you perhaps unwell?”
Katarina’s voice called to me from beyond the door.
“Big Sister...” Without thinking, I responded to her.
“Yes, it is I, your big sister. What’s wrong, Keith? Does your stomach hurt? Are
you all right?” Although Katarina was the one who was injured by what I had
done, she seemed more concerned about my well-being.
“...I’m fine... More importantly, how are your injuries, Big Sister?”
“Those? Ah, yes. I’m fine. It’s just a little knock on the head! It doesn’t matter.
Keith... I’d like to speak to you. May I come in?”
I was relieved at how cheerful Katarina was. Honestly... I wanted to see her. I
wanted to see her right away. But...
“I’m sorry. I cannot let you in.”
“Wh... Why?”
“...I can no longer be by your side, Big Sister.”
I wanted to see her. But no matter what I did, the image of Katarina passing
out stayed anchored in my mind. I wanted to see that she was well and happy...
But I could not do that. I could no longer be by Katarina’s side.
I, being the monster I was with my magic that was perpetually out of control,
would only hurt Katarina if I remained here. Gentle, kind Katarina, who taught
me many, many things. And yet, I hurt her.
Although Katarina continued talking at the door, I buried my head in the
pillows, curling up into a ball on my bed. To begin with, I was all but used to
living alone in a small room... So I would continue living like this on my own, and
thus never hurt anyone important to me ever again.
After a while, I could no longer hear Katarina’s voice. I suppose she gave up
on me, and I deserved it, after not having once responded to her voice. That
was all I could think about as I remained alone in the darkness.
“...Keith. Step back from the door.”
I had thought she had given up — but there was Katarina’s voice again. In
spite of myself, I turned to look at the locked door, only to see it suddenly
splinter and fall to pieces before my very eyes.
At the entrance, silhouetted by the light, was Katarina, with a resolute
expression and an axe in hand. Again, I was stunned. Katarina had destroyed
the door to my room... and had now stepped into it.
And then...
“I’m sorry for yesterday!!” Katarina was on her knees before my bed, and had
lowered her head so deep that it touched the ground. “I’m really sorry for
forcing you to use your magic, and for being unreasonable...! And for not
listening to your warnings about not touching the golem!! I’m so so sorry for
having worried you!!”
I slowly got off from my bed, kneeling next to Katarina. “...Why? Why are you
apologizing, Big Sister...? I... I am the one at fault...”
“What are you talking about?! I am the one who was wrong! I asked you to do
something you didn’t want to do, Keith!!”
Why did this person approach me again? Why was she saying what she did? I
had thought that she would be afraid of me, as I had hurt her with my magic.
Even so...
“...A-Are you not... afraid of me, Big Sister...?”
“Afraid?”
“...In my previous abode... I ended up hurting my brothers with my magic.
This time, I hurt you, Big Sister... Even though I have strong magical aptitude, I
cannot control it well, and I end up hurting people... Even so, are you not afraid
of me, Big Sister?”
I told her of the incident that had happened before. With this, I was sure that
Katarina would never show herself before me again.
I was... scared. That I would hurt Katarina... but even more so, the possibility
that everyone would stare at me with those eyes again. Those eyes filled with
fear — just like my previous family’s.
I was... scared. Afraid... of being labeled a monster once more. This was why I
refused to meet Katarina’s gaze, even as she stormed straight into my room. If
her eyes were filled with fear, I...
I held my breath, awaiting Katarina’s next words.
“Ahh. You meant it that way, I see...”
Those were not the words I was expecting. Confused, I slowly raised my head.
My eyes met with hers — Katarina’s aqua-blue eyes.
“If you can’t control your magic... you just have to work hard from now on,
right? Soon, father will appoint a magic tutor, and we can be adequately taught!
We can even practice our magic together!” Katarina did not have the slightest
hint of fear in her eyes. Instead, it was filled with a gentle warmth, accentuated
by her slight smile.
“...You will... stay by my side, Big Sister?”
“Of course! I’ll stay with you forever!”
Being alone was painful and sad. I wanted... to be with someone. But no one
would stay by my side. If I approached them, they would shout at me, calling
me “son of a whore” or “monster.”
I had all but given up and thought that no one would want to be with
someone like me.... But there she was; the face of a smiling young girl, saying
that we’d be together forever.
“So... even if anything bad happens from here on out, you can’t lock yourself
in your room— Keith! What is it?! Does it hurt somewhere?!” Katarina raised
her voice in alarm as she looked upon my face.
Wondering why she was so worked up, I raised a hand to my cheek... only to
find that it was wet. Tears were streaming from my eyes. Ah, I’m crying. Like I
did before, silencing my voice as best as I could, cooped up in those tiny rooms.
The tears would flow when things were difficult, or when I was lonely. As they
did, my chest would hurt, and I would continue to suffer.
But then... what were these tears? The more I cried, the more my heart was
filled with a deep warmth. For the first time in my life, I discovered that people
could cry when they were happy, too.
Katarina, apparently worried about me, started to pat me on the back. Such
gentle, warm hands. That was all I could think as she continued to console me.
I want to be stay by her side — by Katarina Claes’ side. If possible... I would
like to stay forever.
I resolved to master my magic, and be able to control it well — and then I
would stay by Katarina’s side and protect her with all my might.
