Ross: I grew up in a house with Monica, okay. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat.
Barney: Ooh,your hand is montrous.
Marshall: What did you expect? You've seen my penis
(How I Met Your Mother)
"I say things others won't. That has value."
Pierce Hawthorne (Community)
Ted Mosby(How I Met Your Mother)
Shaun: Well that’s funny, isn’t it? Cause to me, it sounded like you’re planning on robbing a bank.
Nathan: No, no, no. I said, uh… “Let’s have a big wank.” Communal masturbation. The ol’ circle jerk.
"I am a man who can never die! And this has been your first taste of Spanish one-oh-dos, the semester I get inside your cabezas."
Señor Chang (Community)
Simon: What’s he doing?
Curtis: He’s trying to smash the bottle with his mind. I think he’s going to shit himself.
Stu: I'm sorry. That's never happened before.
Fran: What? The eight seconds of sex, or the forty minutes of crying afterwards?
Jeff: I'm saying you're a football player, its in your blood
Troy: That's racists
Jeff: Your soul?
Troy: That's racist
Jeff: Your eyes?
Troy: That's gay
Jeff: That's homophoebic
Troy: That's black
Jeff: That's racist!